Never Say Die

Language has always been incredibly important to me. When my Mom died this didn’t change. I became fixated on one particular word. Died.

I found myself inwardly cringing every time someone uttered, “passed away,” or “lost” instead of just spitting out what had actually happened… My Mom DIED.
I don’t know why I became obsessed with not using silly-seeming platitudes rather than just spitting out the obvious. I suppose I thought, “why use 2 or 3 words when one will suffice?”

I recall my husband suggesting I soften my language rather than using the word, “die,” so as not to offend anyone. I couldn’t bring myself to call what had happened to my mother anything other than what it was. It sucks that she died but saying something like, “passed away,” doesn’t make it suck any less.

Sometimes I think my insistence on using short, sharp language isn’t fair to others. Why, exactly, is this language surrounding death so important to me? What am I really so upset about when someone utters something like, “we lost great aunt Molly last year?”

Any thoughts? I’d love to hear your insights and stories.

K

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2 thoughts on “Never Say Die”

  1. I’m not a fan of the word ‘lost’ either. I lose my car keys, I lose my appetite, lose my train of thought. These things are mine to own, and mine to misplace. But I didn’t possess my father, he wasn’t in my possession and he wasn’t mine to misplace. I take ownership of my actions, thoughts and energy that I bring to the world, but to lose something suggests fault. I did not lose anyone, they did not lose themselves, they died. I need not own that action as a fault, and nor should the deceased. It’s less raw for me when fault is taken out of the context, I prefer to own my contribution to their life well lived. That part is in my possession, my energy, mine to take ownship. I do own the love I brought to their life. ❤️☺️

    Liked by 1 person

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