Something to call me
whenever I’m fucking nuts
or just cracking up
K
The following verse is about the out of control feeling I sometimes get when I am most anxious. It’s not always romantic and darkly beautiful to be mentally ill. Sometimes mental illness feels like an internal war between what’s real and important and allowing the potential horrors of the rest of life to overwhelm me.
I wrote this a few years ago and have edited and modified it many times. It is raw but it is honest.
Aunty Psychotic
I am crazy
bat-shit-nuts
pour lemon juice
in paper cuts
sometimes I sulk
in deep depression
then bare it all
in a therapy session
I am anxious
walk on nails
scream and cry
in panicked flails
I’m medicated
in the mind
one small pill
I’m feeling fine
Ativan me up
with love ❤
then Cymbalta me
just because
should my sweet nephews
see me today
I’m sure they’d turn
and run away
Aunty-psychotic
Aunty-obsession
Aunty-demonic
soul possession
want to rip
this heart from me
and so I beg
on bended knee
free me from
this cage of mind
let me run off
and leave behind
The Nutty Bar
The Looney Bin
let me return
to my life of sin
let my crazy
set me free
just FUCK OFF
and let me
be.
K
My pain is a temple and I chronically worship at its alter.
My pain is paired with me and we are in need of couples counselling.
My pain is a hitchhiker and I am being robbed.
My pain is an infection and I am in need of antibiotics.
My pain is a caged beast and I am the iron bars.
K
We all have our struggles. I struggle daily with chronic pain. This poem represents how the, seemingly, relentless struggle feels to me.
There is acceptance and there is fight in me. They prop each other up. This blog is me fighting in hopes of eventually accepting something much better😊