Crazy

Something to call me

whenever I’m fucking nuts

or just cracking up

K

This is how my Anxiety Feels Sometimes (may contain course language – all the more reason to read😉)

The following verse is about the out of control feeling I sometimes get when I am most anxious. It’s not always romantic and darkly beautiful to be mentally ill. Sometimes mental illness feels like an internal war between what’s real and important and allowing the potential horrors of the rest of life to overwhelm me. 

I wrote this a few years ago and have edited and modified it many times. It is raw but it is honest. 

Aunty Psychotic

I am crazy

bat-shit-nuts

pour lemon juice

in paper cuts

sometimes I sulk

in deep depression

then bare it all

in a therapy session

I am anxious

walk on nails

scream and cry

in panicked flails

I’m medicated

 in the mind

one small pill

I’m feeling fine

Ativan me up 

with love ❤

then Cymbalta me

just because

should my sweet nephews

see me today

I’m sure they’d turn

and run away

Aunty-psychotic

Aunty-obsession

Aunty-demonic

soul possession

want to rip

this heart from me

and so I beg

on bended knee

free me from

this cage of mind

let me run off

and leave behind

The Nutty Bar

The Looney Bin

let me return

to my life of sin

let my crazy

set me free

just FUCK OFF

and let me

be.

K

My Pain

My pain is a temple and I chronically worship at its alter.

My pain is paired with me and we are in need of couples counselling.

My pain is a hitchhiker and I am being robbed.

My pain is an infection and I am in need of antibiotics. 

My pain is a caged beast and I am the iron bars.

K

We all have our struggles. I struggle daily with chronic pain. This poem represents how the, seemingly, relentless struggle feels to me.

There is acceptance and there is fight in me. They prop each other up. This blog is me fighting in hopes of eventually accepting something much better😊